this is a post about three men i know who are put to one of life's toughest tests..
let's start with someone i know from church. his name is Rey. he is a tricycle driver and a tour guide on island hopping trips to the nearby islands here in Mactan. whenever i look at him he is always smiling. always on a good mood. always trying to tease me to some guy i barely know. little did i know that behind that happy face is a man crying for his wife to come back to him. it all started when his wife was diagnosed with cancer. he did everything to save his wife. he worked for hours more than that of a normal individual would work within a day. borrowed money from whoever would let him lend some cash. and with all that he was able to pay for his wife's treatments. when she was cancer-free she then left without saying goodbye. after a few months she came back to their home and took their two children with her without her husband's knowledge. Rey was crushed when he found out that his 2 kids are gone. he told me that his wife is with another man in Samar. after about a year he received a text message from his son telling him he wants to go back to Cebu. he then instructed his son how to escape and get some money to get back to Cebu. his daughter is still stuck in samar. she wanted to go with her brother but they can't escape together. she's way too young. when his son got back here in cebu he realized his son changed. he wasn't the good boy he used to be. he was influenced by the people he lived with in samar. right now he is just watching out for his son. trying to teach him the things he could've taught while he was living with his mother. and rey is still waiting for his daughter to come back to him. as much as he wanted to get his daughter personally in samar, he can't because of the possible danger. he won't risk it with his daughter around. i hear him say how he still love his wife. how he is still waiting for her to come back. he is fighting the tears to fall down his eyes. and just 2 weeks ago i heard him order a cake for his wife's birthday.
you see this is the kind of man i don't see very often. most men cheat or if they don't they certainly wouldn't be loyal and wait for their wife to come back to them when she leaves him. he said there are many temptations. women would really tempt him face to face. its hard to resist yet the memory and the love for his wife is probably that deep no one else can match.. he said in the eyes of the lord he is still married. he can't go out and play with other women.
the second man is a workmate. his name is Niño. he is again this happy go lucky man. always smiling. his happiness is infectious. i always want to work with him because he doesn't want to complicate things. even back when i was working in the lab he is just so nice. (take note that lab dept and nursing dept aren't the best of friends) and then one day his youngest son had difficulty breathing. his youngest son was just 2 months old. things got worse and the baby was intubated and transferred in the ICU. and later did we find out that the baby had PDA or patent ductus arteriosus. its when the baby's ductus arteriosus failed to close after birth. the baby has to undergo operation. prior to this baby's birth his mother had to be operated while pregnant because she had some cyst somewhere in her reproductive system. Sir Onin (as we like to call him) still managed to smile while his son is at the ICU. i can see from his tired eyes that he's been having several sleepless nights. aside from being worried of his son's health one big problem that he's facing is money. being in the hospital for 2 weeks is already a burden much more when you're in the ICU.. and to add to that he has to transfer to CDUH for the heart operation. he was asked to prepare 1 million pesos for the operation alone. i didn't pay my fast offering last month instead i gave it to him through a drop box one of the nurses made for him. and i think im still gonna give him my fast offering for this month. its not much but at least its something. right now after a month they are still in CDUH. from operating room to cardio vascular unit to pediatric intensive care unit and then to their room. i think the baby is now doing fine. still recovering from that battle for his life. :) they were under charity case and the doctors and surgeons didn't ask for any pay so they just have to pay for the hospital.
at some point i thought he was gonna give up on his son but he didn't. they were doing all this tests thinking its either viral or bacterial infection. it took almost 2 weeks for them to diagnose PDA. 2 weeks is just too long and too expensive. he stood strong despite all the problems he was facing. that is the kind of man i admire, i look up to and i respect. when faced with life's toughest problems it only means that you are one of the toughest.
the third man is a patient assigned to my care. let's just call him mr. I. he's in for CVA or cerebrovascular accident more commonly known as stroke. i included him in this list not because of his current state but because of what kind of man he was before he got sick. and because his wife is nice and friendly i got to know him through his wife's stories. i was talking to him while giving him his medications (although he was just making weird noises) telling him how lucky he was that his wife is there with him 24/7, never leaving his side. and then his wife answered "no, im actually the one who's lucky to have him" and then she narrated to me how loving her husband was before the stroke, how good of a father he is to their children, how forgiving and understanding mr. I is. then i realized that what you do now is a huge factor on how you will be treated when you needed help the most. i think Mr. I is a good man because judging from the way he is cared for by his wife and sons i can tell that he was a good husband and father. if he wasn't, then he'd be like that other patient who was left to die without anyone on her side. it was just her neighbor who was paid to be with her. her own family wasn't there on her last breath. they arrived hours after she died.
whether its a husband with a cheating wife, a father who's son is in critical care or a man who is fighting on becoming hemiplegic, men who struggle and stood strong despite their problems are the ones i call real men. its not about how many girls you dated or how strong you are physically or how manly you talk or how much money you make. for me i think its about deciding on things that are hard to decide on. its so easy to walk away from all your problems but facing it is just admirable. its just so manly. that's what a real man is.
