what have i been up to for the past couple of months? idk. i just decided to keep my thoughts to myself. i seem to forgot about my online journal. just afraid to let anyone in to my head. i have been too busy figuring out how i would go about my life. i know i wanted to change my career.
someday we'll talk. but for now i need to sort things out. there were heartaches and there were joys. there were plenty of mistakes to learn from and stories that inspired me. there are people i'd like to thank just for being there even if they didn't know that they made me a more mature woman. a lot of things happened and sometimes i regret why i don't write about it and those ideas and thoughts just slipped away and i forgot about them completely.
i am just so grateful for all the blessings i took for granted. i learned to love myself more and gave myself a pat on the back knowing that my life isn't so bad. i found joy in my solitude. i love my family so so much even if we're not the ideal kind of bunch.. we always try to do our best.. and my family will always come first.
i have been misunderstood by many. at 25 and turning 26 soon, people have been more and more inquisitive about the men i deal with. let me give you a background check.
when i was in elementary and high school, i only had one crush. *lee* he is this chinito who was admired by many. he is 2 years older than me and he is good at basketball and nothing really significant happened during those years.
college crush *levi's* is a friend of my elder sister. he is tall,dark and a handsome hunk. still really good at basketball. he just added me up on fb and i found out he's already married.. lol..
*jag* is a musician. the artist.. a real romantic. he sings me love songs and writes me poetry. he is somewhere looking for someone better. probably he was thinking that i wasn't good enough. he toughened me up.
*wrangler* is a too good to be true kinda thing. a once in a lifetime meeting. he is now engaged. ouch. didn't think that would hurt. ssssshhh...
*dickies* men who are always around but never had the courage to ask me out.
right now the only thing in my head is my career. my heart is in lava mode again. untouchable. it kinda has an autoimmune disease. it doesn't recognize itself and sometimes it ends up hurting itself without really knowing it. i have always been thinking of my growth as a person. my spirituality. my happiness. my weaknesses. my relationship with my god.
its a point in my life wherein the choices i make today will affect me forever. that is why i have been very careful in my choices... i always think about the red light. stop and think... and feel...
