white days

i wasn't home for Christmas but i was there the day after Christmas.. no fast craft available on christmas day so i have no choice but to take the ferry boat at 10pm. arrived at ormoc around 3:30am. fatherdear picked me up.  was welcomed warmly by bree (our puppy whom i haven't met). like i always do everytime i get home. i turned the television on. check what's on the fridge. take whatever is edible and then back to television. everyone is still asleep. so i stayed there until i doze off at our living room. (this has become my habit everytime i come back home from cebu). had chorizo for breakfast. YUM! then father asked me if i wanna see his new fish pond. of course! so we went there.. here's a picture..

he said its the thing that keeps him busy. it was fun to see him happy with what he got. in order for us to get there we have to ride this canoe.. cool eh? ;) manoy ruben said its really deep.. we got there and my father showed me the little fishes he's trying to grow.. and the king crabs - too bad we can't see them because they only go out at night. he said i should come back during harvest time on april or may. im looking forward to it... hopefully i can come back home even for just 2 days.. i want to fill my stomach with nothing else but seafood when i get back this summer.. king crabs, lobsters, shells, scallops, squid, fish, prawns... i am missing you so bad already.

after a visit to the fish pond we hurried back home because mother would be mad if we won't be back by 7:30 coz she has to open the pharmacy at 8am. then i went out to watch my batch mates play volleyball. we won the batch league of course. :) my batch has always been the best volleyball players.. im the scorer. as always. i dont play. im afraid of balls or anything that's bouncing. because there was a time (during my elementary years) when i was hit so hard in the head by a ball that i teared up non stop. ever since then i stopped playing that game.

after the game my sister picked me up and we had lunch at my cousin's place. they prepared some grilled pork. it was so yummy. then we had karaoke.. i sang. lol.. ;) then i gave my present to my nephews. i got them Twister. i was gonna get them some walkie-talkies to match my sister's gift (water guns) but they run out of stock.

then went back to the store and learned how to use the cash register. (i dont think i remember how to use it) visited the riverside mall. younger sister looked for a white blouse. we separated. i forgot that i left my phone at the pharmacy. it took us 2 hours to run into each other. boy was i happy to see her. home by 9pm. had dinner. opened a sparkling drink. closest thing to wine for us.. a toast to a great 2011 and an even greater 2012. gave them presents. everyone was happy with what i got them. white pants for mother, cool ballet flats for younger sister (she's got a love affair with shoes), jacket for father. prepared for the alumni homecoming party. we were so late. it started at 9pm but we got there at 10:30pm. i was surprised by the turn out of the party despite the heavy rain many were able to come. we were late so they didn't ask us for the fee. :) it was a fun white party. here's a glimpse.



went home around 1:30 in the morning. dropped sheena c.(the girl beside me) at her place. just like the old times.

woke up late the next morning. by mid afternoon i went back to the city to watch over our store. attended to some customers. military men came over. bought a couple of things. tried to ask my number. didn't give it. i told them if they come back i'd give my number. (i was kidding. i know the next day i'll be off to cebu) but they still bought me and my sister ice cream. the next morning one guy came back. i hid in the ladies room. lol..

at around 8pm i attended high school reunion - black light party. any party spent with them is awesome. so yeah.. here's a video.

from left: jerlyn, pam, romalaine, keshia, inna

gale, doing my body art ;)

with yoyen and mario. she's got the best moves when she's had more than enough to drink.. lol... :)


father picked me up at 1am. went to the city to test whether if i still know how to drive or not. i drove us back home. i haven't been on the wheel for quite some time. glad i didn't forget. :)

the next day i woke up to my father's text message telling that he already got me a ticket back to cebu. i forgot to buy my ticket. im glad my father remembered coz if he didn't id be stuck in ormoc coz its peak season and its hard to get a ticket because of the holidays.. i stayed at the pharmacy all morning. bought some revel bars for workmates. by 1:15 im on the weesam waiting area. we were delayed for 15minutes. lots of passengers. arrived at cebu around 4pm.

so thats it for my quick home visit. :) i'll be seeing my hometown this summer.. im planning to see those whale sharks a.k.a. "butanding".. 

hospital bill

so it was another day a work. we all know how expensive hospitalization can get. but seeing it right in front of you just bring so much sadness in me. i was about to get some blood from a patient when i heard someone sobbing. it wasn't new. i see a lot of people cry. especially at the emergency room when they lose a loved one. but what i witnessed first hand was a wife sobbing. i asked her what's the matter. she said her husband needs to be in the ICU and they have to pay a down payment of 38 thousand + 3 thousand for the room + labs & medications. and for a below average family in the philippines that is so hard to come by. heck! even the average Filipino family would have a hard time coming up to such amount. as i was talking to her i felt really sad when i saw her grabbing her husband's hand as if wanting to calm him down (because he was making weird noises)..while sobbing and explaining to me about the hospital bill.. and that if her husband wouldn't be in ICU there's a big possibility that he could have an attack and paralyze him for life..

i have been working in the hospital for more than a year now and i never had the courage to ask patients about their hospital bills. i really don't know why but i think i don't wanna intrude or im just too scared to know that many people are having bigger  problems than mine.. i really feel so bad when im reminded how blessed i am and yet i still complain.. so this Christmas season i want to celebrate my life. im doing it alone. this is going to be my very first christmas alone. at least last year, even though i was away from home, i was invited by a nice family to have Christmas with them.. but this year... im doing it alone.. i should be thankful for all my blessings.. actually this Christmas season i think we should all be thankful for the blessings we receive everyday and stop complaining about how miserable our lives are (though sometimes we really can't help it)

i really want to have a charity of my own.. i wanna help people.. there's just too many people who needs help.. especially when it comes to money.. hospital billls...

i miss my family and i wanna be with them.. i can't be home for christmas but i'll be home on the 26th! yipee!! i wonder where ill be next Christmas... :)

that

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

-Neil Gaiman

saturday night moon

i just got back from work and i was looking at the heavens above and i admired the big, full moon... it was wonderful. for a moment i stared at it and was in awe.. and i remember my previous night..

it was saturday and my day off. agenda was just to wait for kim to come over and id do her hair and make-up for her company's party. (i did that. and it was great. she loved it. it was my first time to put make-up on someone else.) and then just stay at home all day. maybe read my blue book, and review my lesson, clean my room, write something.. browse... plan my life... but a workmate of mine was so insistent on inviting me to join her at our hospital's party at grand convention center. 12 missed calls. can't ignore that anymore so i answered.. and she was successful. i just said yes even if i don't have anything to wear. the theme was hiphop. i didn't prepare for that. so i just pulled things in my closet without thinking how i will look at the party.(refer to picture above) on our way out i saw the moon at its biggest state ever! it was huge. (like the one in bruce almighty movie) i feel like i can touch it. it was yellowish, whitish in color. i was waiting for the eclipse. we were running late. arrived at the grand convention center around 7pm. had dinner. watched the performances of the employees of cebu doc group of companies. my hospital won! :) a few days ago i was invited to join the hiphop dance competition but i declined. too bad. but im really glad they won! i didn't expect it to be fun.

i forgot all about the moon but after the CDG party i called kim and (went outside and i looked up and saw the moon was reddish. it was a rare event. so i stared at it again.)  they're not done yet w/ their party at Parklane. so i went there and crashed their party. i felt so out of place. everyone was in black and white outfit. i was wearing floral printed blouse and shoes. good thing my bag's white and so was my shorts. embarrassing. everyone stared. i redeemed myself when i took their group pictures. after that i was welcome. invited to dance. offered some food. made friends. got paired off right away to some cute guy. after that i thought i was going home. but! kim was with me. she doesn't want to end the night yet at 10:30pm. i really wanna go home and take some rest.

i said 12mn. tops. i got home around 2am. it was fun. good clean fun. except that i was home late. after Parklane we went to MO2 and danced to live music while her workmates get drunk. we don't drink but we dance! we both love to dance. :) i took a few heads up and admired the moon as the lunar eclipse was slowly coming to its end. it was great. i danced under the lunar eclipse. i enjoyed every minute of it. when i got to the taxi on my way home i was feeling light headed. and then i realized that i have been under a lot of stress for the past few weeks. and dancing it off was my way to de-stress.. :)

1st was my work schedule for this month. i was really hoping to spending the holidays back home. but my workmates were inconsiderate. idk. i didn't ask them anyway. only one girl offered. the sched for christmas and new year was drawn by lots. i was unlucky. both dec24-25 and dec31-jan1. i got off the meeting right away because i can feel my tears piling up. and when i was outside i broke down. i cried. i cried the whole time i was heading back home. everyone was looking at me. i don't care. i was just feeling so sad. last year i didn't get to spend holidays with my family. i was expecting that because i was new. but this year i really wanna go home. no one ever understood me. maybe because they all have their loved ones with them right here. they were selfish. they didn't realize that im away from home. all of them are living with their families here in cebu. i was the only transient. how can they be so inconsiderate. for a moment i was mad at them. i just miss my family so so much.

2nd was this guy who i thought was for real. i really don't wanna talk about it anymore. RARELY do i talk to someone that much. i hope when we get to talk again he'd clear things up so as not to leave me hanging. (pessimistic mode) id rather prepare my mind set for the worst than have my hopes up and then come crashing down in the end.

3rd was work issues. this was the latest by the way. its all because of one negative person who sees the wrong in everyone. i really don't have any problems with him (or with anyone for that matter) not until our department head decided to take away a privilege (to be able to pass requests each month) we really wanted so bad all because of his complaints.  and because of him i don't think id be able to go on my trips on january and february! i already have tickets! itinerary's all set. ugggghhh... really hated this one... i was really looking forward to swimming with the dolphins on january..

for now i don't think much of the 1st one anymore. 2nd and 3rd are still on my mind very often. i still have to figure out how to go about it. but anyway, im happy for this moment.  just happy and content with my life. :) i will worry about these things tomorrow. tonight i would be happy because the moon looked wonderful.

money talk

last Sunday my topic for the young women class was all about money management. i forgot to study my lesson until Amy sent me a message and reminded me that i'd be teaching that day. i had no idea what the topic was all about but i still had an hour to prepare. fortunately when i searched the internet for my topic i was relieved. it was all about money management. its something im good at. if there's one thing my mom taught me well it was all about that. she's an accountant and she knows how to manage her finances well. its something i admire about her. she basically sent us to college alone. i don't know how she did it but she did and im so grateful for that.


anyway, i just wanted to share some points in the lesson. it talks about 6 areas for a sound financial management.


1. church contributions (tithing) - leave a comment if you wanna know more.


2. debt - avoid it. live within your income. Anyone who lives beyond his income is inviting disaster. Borrowed money is not income. … Borrowing to live on is unsound, whether it be an outright loan or installment buying. 


 just a few weeks ago i wanted to get myself a new phone because there's this wonderful offer at some store. i really like the phone and you can pay it in installment with load included. it was just 350/month for 2 years. it was really good  but then when i think about it for a few more days. i decided its not for me. i might not be here for another 2 years. im planning to move back home when i finish my 2-year contract w/ the hospital. and that's october 2012. And back home the network that's offering this one is not so good coz i live in a small town and the network signal aint that good.  and besides my phone is working out well for me. i got 2 mobile phones and im not using the other one anymore. maybe when i sold them to someone then i can purchase a new one. 


3. savings - i always try to save 20% of my income even though its just a small amount.  "How blessed is he who learns to spend less than he earns and puts something away for a rainy day” you can never really tell when you needed the money.


4. self-discipline - whether early in life or late, we must all eventually learn to to discipline ourselves, our appetites, and our economic desires. “If you cannot obtain all you wish for today, learn to do without that which you cannot purchase and pay for; and bring your minds into subjection that you must and will live within your means” the key to spending less is simple - it is called discipline.


5. budgeting - No matter how much or how little we have to live on each week or month, it needs to be used wisely. We need to decide on a budget and live within it. Some claim living within a budget takes the fun out of life and is too restrictive. But those who avoid the inconvenience of a budget must suffer the pains of living outside of it. 


when i was still in college my mom would just send me an allowance for the whole month and its up to me how im gonna budget it. she said she's not gonna send me more if i ran out of cash. she's strict. and so i learned how to budget. i was wondering how my friends use their money. they receive twice the amount i get from my mom and they still needed more. sometimes they even borrow from me. what else could they be spending on? we go to the same school. we eat at the same place. and im really wondering where their money is going. i even pay my tithes even if i don't have an income. i just want to discipline myself so that by the time im earning it wouldn't be such a big deal.


6. honesty - be honest in all your financial affairs. something my father would repeat to me over and over again. he said that i should be honest in all my dealings with my fellowmen all the time.


im glad my mom taught me well regarding money management coz i don't think i'd be living independently right now if she didn't raised me to use my money wisely. most of my workmates still live with their parents. i don't. and they always ask me how i live on with such a small salary and i even get to go to places i wanted to go. i just tell 'em its all about using your resources wisely plus i was taught well with this one. ;)

im fine. mother.

so while waiting for the movie to start my mom blurted out something that ruined my day completely. i was shocked with what she told me. i was like "really? mother??!!" i mean how can she think of me like that? do i really look like one of those girls who can't get a guy??? so here's what happened. she's setting me up on a date with four guys on february next year. FOUR guys! does she really think im that desperate that she has to intervene with my love life?! i know its been almost 3 years now since i was in a relationship but being single was not my choice. the right guy is yet to come. i can wait. i mean i waited till i was 19 since i said yes to someone but it was short-lived. move on. 3 years later im still single. guess i should wait another 19 years to find another man who would be willing to be with me. oh please no.

the truth is there are guys vying for my attention but im not really interested in them because i know what i want. i date men because its either i don't want him to feel bad about himself or out of favor from friends. when i like someone i tend to shut him down at first but if he persists then voila! im all yours. yeah. thats me. when you have me, you have me completely when you don't then im really not yours. i don't play games. im not good at it. i try to make things as real as they can be. someone told me im hard to crack. true. i get that a lot. but once im cracked i'll make sure you will enjoy every second with me. trust me. ;)

right guy come find me soon. i don't want my mother getting into my love life. its really embarrassing.

so here's a letter i had since i was in high school.

To the boy im going to marry someday:

i don't even know your name or where you live or anything about you, but i know you're growing up some place the same as me. do you even get discouraged? i do. i have friends at school but nobody i can really talk to about what im thinking because none of them believe the same  way. i just want you to know im trying to live the way i should. im doing okay so far, but its not easy sometimes. all my friends are drinking now, so there's not much i can do with them anymore on the weekends. i run along a bike path when i need to think. i really wish we could spend some time together now.

i'll be glad when i finally get to meet you. i want to live so i never do anything that i'd be ashamed to tell you about.

there are a lot of things i need to do now to prepare for the future. right now the biggest thing is to study real hard and finish high school. and after that i need to try to figure out what i want to do for a living.

i've been thinking about you lately and about when we get married. sometimes its hard not to think about the things that go with marriage. but i guess i can stand holding off until you're my husband. my bishop says its worth waiting to make it the way God wants it to be.

guess what. i love you even if i don't know your name or where you live.

                                                                                                          love, your future wife,
                                                                                                             Kristelle

p.s.
im already 23 now and working at some hospital. waiting for you to come along... i will update this every once in a while. coz i got no one to talk to right now..

our selfish desires. ;)

• a little jealousy - it doesn't always mean that we want to hurt your feelings. we just wanted you to get jealous every once in a while. we love you to become possessive SOMETIMES. and a little jealousy would make us feel that you love us and you don't want anyone else getting our attention. 
• hugs - everyone loves hugs! the warm, tight ones. make sure you smell good. lol.. :)
• to be #1 - we like to become your number one priority.
• appreciation - we love it when you notice how nice our hair looks or how cute our dress looked on us. you don't how long it took us to fix ourselves just so we can look good for you. or how many changes we did to find the perfect outfit.
• time - make sure that you make time for us even with your hectic schedule. a simple phone call or text message from you would make our day.
• kisses - <3 we don't have to explain that to you.
• sensitivity - please learn to read our body language. don't believe everything we tell you. our body language always gives us away. learn that. when we say its okay but we sound different than usual then find a way to understand what we're really trying to tell you.
• YESes - yeah. we want you to say yes to all our whims and desires. that's why its entitled "our selfish desires" we want you to spoil us... but don't overdo it. we might just get used to it.
• to feel like princesses - act like a prince and become a gentleman. it never hurts to try to be at your best manners.
• to feel loved - flowers, chocolates,  whatever your girl wants.. we'd love it! gifts. it doesn't have to be expensive. sacrifices. we won't ask you to do something that would put you in a dangerous/difficult situation. to feel loved is actually everything written on this entry.
• chances - we know we overlook our mistakes sometimes and we forget them right away. we hope you'd be patient and nice enough to never tire of giving us our 2nd chances. or 3rd.. 4th?.. 5th?? ;D
• surprises - we really like it when you go out of your box just so you can surprise us and make us happy. 
• spontaneity - we love those spur of the moment activities with you. 
• humor - we'd laugh at your jokes no matter how corny they are. we like it when you'd make an effort to make us smile. or laugh... ^_^
• sweet-nothings - don't ever  be afraid to say what you feel. we want to hear those sweet things from you. don't worry if its too mushy. its just between you and me anyway. and maybe a few girlfriends whom we trust. ;)
• admiration - we actually do like to hear you say 'your beautiful' even though we deny it. were just too shy. what you think about us is the most important thing. (one of the most important things) your opinion matters... a LOT!
• long conversations - we like it when you can carry a conversation. its really boring when your not good at talking. its nice when we can talk about anything and everything. with phone calls -- we don't care if our ears are getting warm because of long phone calls. we just love to talk to  you.

:S i know that this will hurt.

so we decided to take a breather. im stupid. i know. oh well since i can't talk to him for two weeks i'll just write about him.. i was going for 4 but im glad he said 2..

 i was gonna write how i miss talking to him.. all the things i like about him. but then i saw pictures of him with another girl. a pretty one.. :( i know we said we have no commitments and that we can date anyone we wanted to. but!!! I've gone out on a lot of dates and i think by now i already know what im looking for.

i guess i should start saying yes to those long overdue date offers... :-/ maybe they can help me keep my mind off of him and eventually forget about everything that happened for the last couple of months.. 2weeks is not yet over. a lot can happen in that span of time. at least i have this blog to lash out or talk about how happy i am when i have no one else to talk to.

im glad though that i kept my true feelings all to myself. it would hurt too much if he knows everything and then do that. silence keeps me safe. for now...

so yeah i started this entry 2 days ago but wasn't able to finish. it started happy but then now its going to have a sad ending. please break my heart while its still early. you fixed it so i guess you can leave it broken. :'s AGAIN. i should stop falling for guys. i hate you hormones for making me feel like this.

random thoughts.

so remember when i told you about a guy i met a few months ago? well, we kept our communication and it has been fun getting to know him.. i guess we couldn't deny the fact that something special was going on between us but were both afraid to admit it to ourselves.. 


so far it has been good but lately it hasn't been too smooth. he's too busy with his studies and im thinking about him too much. its not good. i know. being apart from each other is a big issue. anyway, i never thought id get myself into this kind of "relationship" i don't even know how to call it.. maybe friendship??.. a special kind of friendship. idk. 


anyway, im already attached to him but i feel like i can't trust him. he told me to just have faith in him and to trust him.. but.. idk.. its so hard to trust a guy these days even if you know him. you can never really tell.. but i hope he is telling the truth and is going to keep his promise. he seemed like a nice guy. i really don't like people giving away promises and not keep it. a promise is a promise. 

up until now i still don't know where this is going.. if its even going anywhere much longer. i don't want it to stop. he made me whole again. he just doesn't know what he did to me. i never told him how thankful i was because he came into my life. how i stopped crying every night. how i thank my God every night because of the happiness he brings into my soul. how i make mention of him in my prayers. the thing is. im afraid. afraid that if he knows all about these things he would change and treat me less of a woman. guys have that tendency to be complacent and take advantage of the woman just because she feels weak being all on her own. alone.


and now if he's not sure about me then i guess he should stop and quit before we get serious enough that we'd both end up getting hurt...  


"When you love conditionally, you have to keep deciding if the other is worthy of your love. You can never let go of your guard enough to be content. Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content."

questions to ask before marriage.

got this forwarded message from someone at church. i think this is really helpful for SAs. it was helpful to me so i want to share it here. (no one hardly even knows about this blog) plus i want easier access to it.. ;) anyway its an eye opener. i have thought about this topic ever since i turned 18 and i realized that i haven't thought about it much in detail. i only dwell on the idea of marriage not on the specific questions i should be asking. so here... i hope this will help you make that big decision.. :)

Explanation and Disclaimer

This was written by me for a specific situation, Addison’s (my daughter) decision to marry David (her husband now).  Although this guide may prove useful to others, it was meant for Addi and David in their situation.  They had already announced their decision and this was my reaction.  If you are a parent, you may want to adapt it to your situation and inspired guidance.  If you are a young man or young woman, read this prayerfully and share it with your parents, they may have something to add.

 I haven’t taken the time to reference the doctrinal and scriptural references that inspired these questions, but I believe you will recognize the themes and can seek them out yourself.  Perhaps I will add them in a future version for Jensen and my other children. 

I think it is best if read and pondered long before you find yourself in a serious relationship (which shouldn’t happen before your mission if you are a young man) and before you begin to get emotionally attached.  The emotions and feelings you feel when emotional attachment is developing can be powerful and can affect your ability to think clearly and receive or perceive the answers and guidance you receive from the Holy Spirit.  Remember, love is based in service, worthiness, charity, sacrifice, and commitment (eternal!).  Lust is the opposite – it is selfish, unworthy, self-serving, demeaning, and destroying.  Eternal marriage is the Lord’s plan, when the time is right and in the right place (you know what I mean by this).  Follow “For the Strength of Youth” before a mission (no pairing off, etc…), the prophets’ council after a mission (you should start pairing off, etc…), and set your sights on the temple.  No other alternative is worth it.

Mike

October 2011

The Big Decision

Being sealed and married for eternity is a marvelous thing when the timing is right and you have found a partner who is good, worthy, and compatible.  This decision should be treated seriously and prayerfully.  The decision is yours and the Lord expects you to make it, but he will guide you and confirm your decision (or even tell you otherwise).  In the end, your Heavenly Father knows you perfectly, He knows all – the past, present, and future – and He will answer you and guide you; but you must do your part.  Make sure you are living worthily of such guidance.  Making this decision if you’re not in harmony with the gospel is dangerous and there is too much at stake: your eternal progression and that of your future spouse, children, and posterity.

The questions below will help you take inventory of yourself and your potential eternal companion.  Some of the questions are more important than others, but all will be helpful in taking an inventory of your compatibility and readiness.   While it will take considerable effort and time to complete, it is worth it.  The questions are meant to help you analyze your similarities and differences in background, culture, intellect, expectations, goals, and desires.   Marriage is wonderful and, as with anything that is worthwhile, it will require effort from both of you and will benefit from a strong start.   Ultimately, you must do your part, and then in prayer and fasting, ask Heavenly Father to guide and confirm your decision.  Be prepared to follow the answer, even if not expected (marry, don’t marry, wait and work on it, etc…). 

The Assessment

My instructions are few and simple, but please follow them:

·         Answer these questions on your own, alone.  Don’t cheat on this.

·         Be completely honest

·         Once finished, share your answers with each other and discuss them honestly (see further instructions at the end)

1.       Do you feel you really know yourself? 

2.       What are your goals and aspirations?  What is most important to you?

3.       Have you experienced all you want to experience before you are married?

4.       Has he/she experience or accomplished all he/she wishes before marriage?

5.       Is your decision to marry in harmony with your Patriarchal Blessing and other blessings or guidance you have been given by your father or other priesthood leaders – not just specifically regarding marriage, but also education and other instructions, blessings, and guidance regarding timing, the other person, and circumstances?

6.       What are your educational goals? How and where will you accomplish them?

7.       How will marriage and your other goals mix?

8.       How much debt do you have now?

9.       Will you go into debt for your education?  How much?

10.   How much debt does David have?  How much debt does Addi have?

11.   How do you feel about debt?  For what types of purchases do you feel debt is appropriate?

12.   Will David provide all financial support while in school? After school?  Will Addison be expected to work?

13.   Do you understand the real cost of being on your own and do you have a realistic budget?  What is your plan to meet those expenses?

14.   How will finances be managed after marriage?  Who will manage the finances or will you do this jointly?

15.   Do you have any issues or concerns about your potential in-laws and or his/her extended family?

16.   Do you/or the other have a problem with pornography?

17.   Does he/she treat you with respect?

18.   Do you treat her/him with respect?

19.   Does he/she have a problem with swearing or vulgar language?  Do you?

20.   Does he/she have any temper or behaviors that might be a problem?  Do you?

21.   Does he/she have any addictions?  Do you?

22.   Do you want to have children right away?

23.   How do you feel about birth control?

24.   How many children do you want?

25.   How far apart will you space them?

26.   What is your position on abortion?

27.   What does the Lord, through His prophets, say about marriage and children, including the timing of children?  Are your plans in harmony with the Lord’s will as taught by the Prophets?

28.   Does he/she have the qualities you expect as the father/mother of your children?

29.   How will you discipline your children?

30.   What kind of father or mother do I want for my children?

31.   What kind of parent am I prepared to be?

32.   Will Addi be able to stay home after having children or will she be expected to work?

33.   What are the Lord’s teachings regarding the mother working outside of the home?  Do you believe this?

34.   What are David’s career goals?  How much education will this require?  How will this be financed?

35.   Is having a lot of money important to you?  How much and why?

36.   Does he/she budget, spend, and save wisely?  Do you?  Is that important to you?

37.   What are his/her hobbies, past-times, or recreational activities?  Does he/she do them alone?  What about after marriage?

38.   What are your hobbies, past-times, or recreational activities? Do you do them alone or with others?  What about after marriage?

39.   Where do you want to settle eventually?

40.   How important is it to you to live close to your family?  How important is it to him/her?

41.   What are your political views and any affiliation?  What are his/hers?

42.   What are your views on “gay marriage”, homosexuality, and other moral/social issues of our day?  What are his/hers?

43.   How do you define “active in the gospel”?

44.   Does he / Do you honor the Priesthood in language, behavior, dress, and in faithfully magnifying callings?

45.   Are you temple worthy?

46.   Does he / Do you wear the approved temple garments at all times as explained in the recommend interview? Does he honor his temple/Priesthood covenants?

47.   Is there anything in your past that should have been resolved but has not?

Once you have answered these questions; ponder, pray, and listen for direction.  Fasting will help.  Then, share your answers with each other and individually and prayerfully analyze where you have differences and record your thoughts, feelings, and impressions.  Then, jointly discuss these in a spirit of prayer. Where you have serious differences, you must be prepared to discuss and make adjustments before marriage.  Not adjusting, ignoring differences, and adjustments that are one-sided may be the seed of contention, regret, and even serious problems later.  No one is perfect and there is a difference between differences that are disqualifiers (worthiness, addictions, abusive behavior) and those differences that are less important (does he squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or the end).  You will have to decide, prayerfully, what is right for you.  Heavenly Father will guide you!

48.   For each of the areas where you have differences that are not disqualifiers, how are you prepared to adjust or change and what will you do? 

you..

sometimes someone comes into your life that changes everything. raises the standards, makes you laugh, & makes you feel like you. there is something about him that you can't put into words and even though you're not with him, you don't want to let him go.

things we secretly enjoy... ;)

‎REPOST from FB


45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON'T ASK FOR:

1. Touch her waist.

2. Actually talk to her.

3. Share secrets with her.

4. Give her your jacket.


5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?


6. Hug her.

7. Hold her.

8. Laugh with her.

9. Invite her somewhere.

10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING ..


11. Smile with her.

12. Take pictures with her.

13. Pull her onto your lap.

14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.

15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and 


hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.

17. Kiss her unexpectedly.

18. Hug her from behind around the waist.

19. Tell her she’s beautiful.

20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it 


never hurts to act like a gentleman.

22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.

23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies 


something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so 


just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.


25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE 


US ..

26. Don’t lie to her.

27. DON’T cheat on her.

28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.

29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at 


school, and how much you miss her.

30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need 


you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.

31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.

32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.

33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will 


automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up 


and kiss her lightly.

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s 


upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.

37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.

38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen 


to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper 


to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.

39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.

40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.

41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.

42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

43. Take her for long walks at night.

44. Always remind her how much you love her.

45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down 


to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love .. ♥!


this has too much kissing.. maybe tone it down a little.. :)

someone like you... (based on adele's song)

so i met a guy... i forgot how it feels like to have someone admire you for who you are. i have given myself to someone i thought i'd spend the rest of my life with. my heart was close because of him. but things changed. he changed. and i have to move on.

i will blog how we met next time. right now i'm just so happy to have him as a friend. someone i can talk to about anything and not feel like i have to meet someone else's standards. i'm just myself. and he makes it so easy for me to talk to him. at first i was hesitant on conversing with him because i was afraid. afraid to open myself up to some stranger. i guess its what i need. a stranger. someone who doesn't know my past. someone who knows nothing of my former relationship.

i can start all over again. i will start over again.

he made me realize that i can learn to admire other people. that the one i had before isn't the only man in this world. that life gets better in time. that when you pray for something or someone worthy for you then someone up there is listening. if its not Miel then i guess God has someone else in mind.

i hope this is going somewhere. if not then its okay. at least now i know that i can learn to admire and see other people. i have found a friend in him. we have a lot in common. particularly our love for books, movies and adventure!!! and of course the one dream i rarely talk about.. my dream of having my own charity or just being a part of it... we share that same goal of being able to help other people.. changing the world for the better...

my future is not yet clear.. but i like it that way. it makes me wanna wake up in the morning and find out what's in store for me. i'm staying positive. my gloomy days are over. finally after more than two years life is getting better. here comes the sun! shining brightly.. i can feel it.. :)

weekend

i was really afraid for this weekend to come because i have a lot to accomplish i feel like im not ready for it..

well first is the tinikling dance.. i haven't danced in a very long time.. i mean being part of a group and present something in front of a crowd.. not since my youth days.. i think.. anyway, it started with a text msg from kent. and i dont know what i was thinking but i just said yes. and yeah i was present for 3 practice sessions.. i was really losing hope because we never got it right even until the very last practice (which is a few minutes before we present)... we dont even have our costumes!!! a day before that i prayed that we'd be able to present something nice even if it was a last minute decision.. and the Lord was so good and he answered my prayers.. :) we never got it right, not even once, during our practices but when we presented it... guess what?... WE GOT IT RIGHT! it was really amazing.. all of us were amazed at how we did.. i guess all of us prayed and a small miracle happened because of our faith.. this is just a simple experience but something worth remembering.. :) we were well applauded and we received a lot of good comments right after our dance presentation.. i never thought id learn something from that experience.. im glad i said yes.. :)

so Sunday came.. and it was the day that i have been very scared of because i have to talk in front of a large crowd.. in case you dont know me let me tell you how shy and crowd sensitive i am.. i have been invited a couple of times to talk in the pulpit and i have declined a couple of times because i have a phobia in talking to a crowd.. even standing in front of crowd makes me feel uncomfortable..

again i dont know why i didnt say no to bro. boyet's text msg telling me that im the speaker for july31st together with lloyd gamba and pres. james fantone.. being with two priesthood holders adds more pressure.. one is an RM and the other one is part of the Stake Presidency.. i feel so inferior.. what do i know? i cant even remember the last time i was a speaker.. yeah.. its that long.. but even with that i just tried my best to study and ponder the topic.. i prayed nonstop every single day that id be able to give at least a decent talk.. praying that i wont stutter and stammer.. coz i usually do that when im scared... losing focus..

and again i was surprised how the Lord blessed me.. i didnt stutter.. i was able to deliver my talk smoothly.. and closed it with a testimony.. and i released a much awaited long 'whew' :) after the sacrament service i was taken aback by the many good feedbacks i got from the members.. someone even asked me if im a return missionary.. i took it as a compliment.. :) i just smiled and said no.. an elder shook my hand and told me how wonderful my talk was.. a single adult woman even said thank you.. i asked her 'why?' she just repeated her words and said 'thank you'..  idk why she said that.. i guess somehow during my talk the Spirit touched her heart.. the Bishop told me that it was a topic which is very hard to simplify.. and told me i did a good job in simplifying it.. and i got more wonderful comments from everyone else.. it felt good.. i never thought i could do that.. later that morning i was quoted several times.. :)

a miracle happened... it was a wonderful experience.. and just like the day before Sunday (with the tinikling dance) it is something i want to remember for the rest of my life.. :)

*the last entry i posted was about how spiritually down i was.. and now im happy to tell you how spiritually uplifted i am.. i hope i can keep this going.. i like this feeling.. :)

repost..

so a friend of mine tagged me in a note.. and i find it to be inspiring.. its just nice.. maybe because my spirituality is going downhill.. fast.. i mean i go to church when i can but i just can't feel it.. that tiny little voice.. its been gone for awhile now.. its been 3sundays since i didn't partake and this coming sunday is a conference so no sacrament.. i need a boost.. i miss that feeling of security.. aaagggggggggggghhhhhhhh.... im spiritually and emotionally unhealthy... :'( can somebody help me out???

anyway, here's the tag.. (do excuse the wrong grammar and spelling.. just bear with it)

DEAR CHILD, 

     I remember well the day you left my side, wandered through the veil, and ventured forth to fulfill your earthly mission, I had a tear in my eyes each time I clothe your spirit in a cloak of LOVE, and sent you off to school. Be assured that my thoughts are with you now, as always - I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. I know your lives, the good and the bad, your griefs and dissappointments, your unrewarded efforts, your frustrations  and temptations, but always REMEMBER_ ALL that I have is yours_ IF you will only come HOme AGAIN.

     My child realize that in each of you I placed a bit in heaven. NO one is exempt - I LOVE YOU ALL. Each of you has some blessed gifts, some talents, saome part of me in you. SEARCH for it my child, DEVELOP it, USE it and most important, SHARE it with others. If you really love me, then HELP others FIND THEMSELVES and LEAD to me. SHOW your LOVE by SERVING Others. 

Repent of your failings and humble yourselves. Make yourselves ever teachable and continually strive to improve. I gave you weaknesses to help you to be HUMBLE- Don't curse me for that , I did it because I LOVE YOU. Be fill of HOPE my child, don't let discouragement engulf you, I'll come when you need me.

     My child cease your idle contentions. Be peacemaker for it breaks my heart to see many of my children fighting. If they  could see that I hope, planned and desired for them, my heart breaks as I watch them, but you, my faithful child, are my Hope. Accomplish the mission I give you before you left me. I'll help you. I can never too busy or too far to come to you. I am nearer to you always than you might expect. I have so much i'd like to tell you, but you DON't LISTEN. Come to me often in my work and my kingdom shall be yours. I'd to take you in my arms, but I too, must gain patiently until, the time comes. Until then and I leave you with my peace, my blessing, my love and never forget I am Nearby when you need me.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and HOW I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR RETURN AGAIN TO ME AND TO YOUR MOTHER. 

                                                                                                                          ALL MY LOVE,

                                                                                                                           YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER

so uhh.. yeah.. this is it i guess.. just wanna share it to whomever comes across my lame old blog.. :)

movie review

so i haven't written something about movies for a long time.. this time i will not update you with any upcoming movies.. instead i will give my opinions about some recent movies i've watched.

first is the indian movie '3 idiots' i watched it like 2weeks ago. it was an awesome movie. it has all the right ingredients for a great movie. for me its one of the best i've seen so far.. i rate the movie 5 stars. :) rarely do i rate movies as 5 stars. the sound of music, titanic, forest gump, avatar are just some of the movies that i really recommend as a must watch. you'll miss half of your life if you don't get to see it. lots of lessons were injected into the movie. btw i watched the movie like 4 times.. plus the soundtrack is just in my head all week.. (not yet done)

yesterday my friends and i watched a tagalog movie.. the lead stars are sarah geronimo and gerald anderson. at first i wasnt so psyched about the movie coz i dont like the actors.. well sarah's ok but gerald??? no way. but surprisingly at the end of the movie i ended up liking gerald. ewww... yeah, i hate myself for saying that.. hahah... there's just something about pinoy love stories that makes you think twice whether you'll watch it or not because you're afraid what other people might say. hahaha.. i call them plastic! there are a lot of nice pinoy films.. anyway, back to my topic.. so yeah about the movie.. uhhhmmmm... i guess the filipino directors know exactly what makes a filipino tickle.. yeah, im talking about the term 'kilig' i am so not a fan of gerald but the way he was 'used' (sorry for the lack of a better word) by the director i ended up liking him... ewwww... hahahha... people were howling and shouting and hooting all through out the movie because of those 'kilig moments' we were laughing at ourselves that we also joined the shouting part... the crowd loved it...

*not yet done*

lost and not yet found...

the title's quite catchy but actually i wont pour my heart out today.. i just want to update this old blog of mine.. its been 4 months since i last posted an entry. it was all about my trip to hongkong and macau. too bad its not yet finished. im getting lazy these days.. busy with work and too busy enjoying life with my friends.. church life is ok.. so far not so good. im being relaxed. i dont keep up with my old self.. and by that i mean im not like me anymore. i dont always go to church every sunday. way back in college i never miss a sunday service. things changed when i got a job. and i dont do fasting as much as i used to. i usually fast once a month but now i can't remember the last time i fasted. maybe i will have a fresh new start next month. new age, new goals, new outlook, new plans and new......... ill just leave that hanging..

i cant believe myself. i miss writing.. i miss blogging.. i miss updating myself with movies and music.. posting something on twitter or in facebook.. basically i miss cyberspace... oh no! have i moved on to the more serious things in life??? like working and thinking about my future??? oh boy.. im getting mature.. hahaha..

i guess that's how it goes.. life has a pattern.. from being a child who wants to play all the time to becoming a teenager who wants to grow up so quick and think that they know what they're doing to being adults and realizing that we should make wise choices because in the end its our lives that are at stake.. its either we succeed or we fail... i cant talk to you about marriage or parenthood because i haven't reached that level yet but someday i know i will.. and then we get old and start to gain wisdom and realize that life teaches you lessons the hard way... and we just have to accept the mistakes we did and make the best out of what you've made of yourself..

i know im not getting any younger.. and im in that adult stage wherein i have to make wise choices because i know it'll affect my future.. but you see its life itself that makes it hard to make wise decisions.. ugghhh...

so i have a job. now what's next? i know what your thinking. time to start a family of my own.. everytime i think i think about it i always ask myself if im ready for that kind of responsibility.. im afraid. afraid that it wont go the way i planned it. afraid that i wont have the man i wanted to have. someone who would stand strong despite every trial that we would be facing as a couple. afraid that i wont become an exemplary mother... afraid that id have a cheating husband. married people have a lot of problems... i dont know why its like that.. if they got married they should try to make it work.. im talking like this because of experience.. anyway, my family drama is sort of okay right now.. father is back and im so happy and grateful that after 8 long years of praying... finally it was answered..

i dont have enough time to finish this.. its getting late and i have to head back home.. its not safe for a woman to walk alone in the streets at night.. especially here in mactan.. this entry is just to dust off the cobwebs of my blog so forgive me if this read bored you.. tahtah.. ^_^