i haven't been to church for 3 Sundays now because of work. and my temple recommend expired a month ago. i have spent my time mostly on work and studies and running around the city trying to comply all the requirements i needed for my immigration. yesterday, i get to tour the temple again together with ann and louise. berryl didn't make it because she's too sick to get up.
got there around 6pm and immediately looked for the room where the video presentation is going to be given. i was in a hurry because i was running late and we have a class by 6:30. the video was presented by elders then we went outside to officially start with 2 sister missionaries as our guide. both of them were called sister hansen. the pace of the tour was slow. we were few on the group were in so its good. not too much noise. i looked at my watch, it was already 6:45 and were still outside the temple. it was longer than i expected. i listened to their explanations, i looked around the area and saw a lot of missionaries, looked up angel moroni's statue up above the top.. and then i was lost in my own thoughts.. i focused on the thought of the missionaries. the work they're doing, the countenance they exude which is almost tangible, the smiles, the handshakes, the knowledge they possess, the confidence, the sincerity in their eyes.. and in between those thoughts i didn't really care whether id miss my french class or not. i know i was already late. i didn't mind. i needed this. i felt it. that feeling i get every time i know something great is about to happen. should i heed this feeling? until today im still wondering about it...
i have always wondered how it feels like to be a missionary. i mean i grew up with them always visiting our home. my mother always invite them over for dinner and we treat them as family. i wasn't encouraged to go on a mission but i have always thought about it. and mom would always tell me to just make sure i marry an RM. i guess that means no.
its been a few days now since i had that thought. i told 4 people about it. people who i trust and are very close to me. i value their opinion. they have different reactions but all 4 said its all up to me..
-still thinking about it-
but one thing is for sure i would like to have what those missionaries have... one day i will... im just not sure at what age...
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
im better than that
riiiinnngg!!! riiinnngg!!! i looked up who's calling me. uuggghhh.. its from work. i ignored the call. riiiiinnnggg!!! riiinngg!!! its calling me again. what could they possibly want from me? they know i just got off from graveyard shift and they're waking me up at 9:30am in the morning. i was just 2 hours in my sleep.
our receptionist is on the other line telling me that the senior lab scientist won't run the tests from the blood i extracted earlier. i told her that it was settled already. the senior called me at around 7:30am about it and she said its okay. and then i found out that she changed her mind and that she wanted me to go back to the hospital and label the tube. i asked the receptionist if the nurses on duty could do that for me and then she replied that no one is willing to do it. i was mad. i know i made a mistake but knowing that your "friends" won't do something so simple disappointed me. im willing to do such things for them. obviously they wouldn't do the same. so i was brainstorming about it. i could either choose to ignore it and go back to my sleep or i could fix it by going back to the hospital.
i was really mad. i've never been that mad about work before. i learned that i can't really expect from everyone what i expect of myself. we are way too different. especially from the nurses whom i considered good friends.
but as i think about it i realized that being mad won't solve the problem. it would just worsen it. so i got up. changed clothes. went back to hospital to put a label on that tube only to find out that it was already labeled with the correct name but they erased it. i was burning with anger deep down but i kept my cool and did what they wanted me to do.
going back home i thought about what just happened. and i found out that the good part of me is still the master of my soul. i was thankful. knowing that i could just blow my fuse and lash out on everyone i chose to do what's right even though i was disappointed with the people i work with. they know they can just do it for me. it wont even take a minute of their time. actually they already did (they changed their minds and erased it) yet they still chose to wake me up in the middle of my sleep.
sometimes people are so insensitive or are just too proud to do something for other people. haaaay... i can't let them ruin my Sunday. anyway, its over and done. i just wanted to write about it so that i can forget it.
our receptionist is on the other line telling me that the senior lab scientist won't run the tests from the blood i extracted earlier. i told her that it was settled already. the senior called me at around 7:30am about it and she said its okay. and then i found out that she changed her mind and that she wanted me to go back to the hospital and label the tube. i asked the receptionist if the nurses on duty could do that for me and then she replied that no one is willing to do it. i was mad. i know i made a mistake but knowing that your "friends" won't do something so simple disappointed me. im willing to do such things for them. obviously they wouldn't do the same. so i was brainstorming about it. i could either choose to ignore it and go back to my sleep or i could fix it by going back to the hospital.
i was really mad. i've never been that mad about work before. i learned that i can't really expect from everyone what i expect of myself. we are way too different. especially from the nurses whom i considered good friends.
but as i think about it i realized that being mad won't solve the problem. it would just worsen it. so i got up. changed clothes. went back to hospital to put a label on that tube only to find out that it was already labeled with the correct name but they erased it. i was burning with anger deep down but i kept my cool and did what they wanted me to do.
going back home i thought about what just happened. and i found out that the good part of me is still the master of my soul. i was thankful. knowing that i could just blow my fuse and lash out on everyone i chose to do what's right even though i was disappointed with the people i work with. they know they can just do it for me. it wont even take a minute of their time. actually they already did (they changed their minds and erased it) yet they still chose to wake me up in the middle of my sleep.
sometimes people are so insensitive or are just too proud to do something for other people. haaaay... i can't let them ruin my Sunday. anyway, its over and done. i just wanted to write about it so that i can forget it.
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