9-20-12

i haven't been to church for 3 Sundays now because of work. and my temple recommend expired a month ago. i have spent my time mostly on work and studies and running around the city trying to comply all the requirements i needed for my immigration. yesterday, i get to tour the temple again together with ann and louise. berryl didn't make it because she's too sick to get up.

got there around 6pm and immediately looked for the room where the video presentation is going to be given. i was in a hurry because i was running late and we have a class by 6:30. the video was presented by elders then we went outside to officially start with 2 sister missionaries as our guide. both of them were called sister hansen. the pace of the tour was slow. we were few on the group were in so its good. not too much noise. i looked at my watch, it was already 6:45 and were still outside the temple. it was longer than i expected. i listened to their explanations, i looked around the area and saw a lot of missionaries, looked up angel moroni's statue up above the top.. and then i was lost in my own thoughts.. i focused on the thought of the missionaries. the work they're doing, the countenance they exude which is almost tangible, the smiles, the handshakes, the knowledge they possess, the confidence, the sincerity in their eyes.. and in between those thoughts i didn't really care whether id miss my french class or not. i know i was already late. i didn't mind. i needed this. i felt it. that feeling i get every time i know something great is about to happen. should i heed this feeling? until today im still wondering about it...

i have always wondered how it feels like to be a missionary. i mean i grew up with them always visiting our home. my mother always invite them over for dinner and we treat them as family. i wasn't encouraged to go on a mission but i have always thought about it. and mom would always tell me to just make sure i marry an RM. i guess that means no.

its been a few days now since i had that thought. i told 4 people about it. people who i trust and are very close to me. i value their opinion. they have different reactions but all 4 said its all up to me..

-still thinking about it-

but one thing is for sure i would like to have what those missionaries have... one day i will... im just not sure at what age...