random thoughts.

so remember when i told you about a guy i met a few months ago? well, we kept our communication and it has been fun getting to know him.. i guess we couldn't deny the fact that something special was going on between us but were both afraid to admit it to ourselves.. 


so far it has been good but lately it hasn't been too smooth. he's too busy with his studies and im thinking about him too much. its not good. i know. being apart from each other is a big issue. anyway, i never thought id get myself into this kind of "relationship" i don't even know how to call it.. maybe friendship??.. a special kind of friendship. idk. 


anyway, im already attached to him but i feel like i can't trust him. he told me to just have faith in him and to trust him.. but.. idk.. its so hard to trust a guy these days even if you know him. you can never really tell.. but i hope he is telling the truth and is going to keep his promise. he seemed like a nice guy. i really don't like people giving away promises and not keep it. a promise is a promise. 

up until now i still don't know where this is going.. if its even going anywhere much longer. i don't want it to stop. he made me whole again. he just doesn't know what he did to me. i never told him how thankful i was because he came into my life. how i stopped crying every night. how i thank my God every night because of the happiness he brings into my soul. how i make mention of him in my prayers. the thing is. im afraid. afraid that if he knows all about these things he would change and treat me less of a woman. guys have that tendency to be complacent and take advantage of the woman just because she feels weak being all on her own. alone.


and now if he's not sure about me then i guess he should stop and quit before we get serious enough that we'd both end up getting hurt...  


"When you love conditionally, you have to keep deciding if the other is worthy of your love. You can never let go of your guard enough to be content. Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content."