hospital bill

so it was another day a work. we all know how expensive hospitalization can get. but seeing it right in front of you just bring so much sadness in me. i was about to get some blood from a patient when i heard someone sobbing. it wasn't new. i see a lot of people cry. especially at the emergency room when they lose a loved one. but what i witnessed first hand was a wife sobbing. i asked her what's the matter. she said her husband needs to be in the ICU and they have to pay a down payment of 38 thousand + 3 thousand for the room + labs & medications. and for a below average family in the philippines that is so hard to come by. heck! even the average Filipino family would have a hard time coming up to such amount. as i was talking to her i felt really sad when i saw her grabbing her husband's hand as if wanting to calm him down (because he was making weird noises)..while sobbing and explaining to me about the hospital bill.. and that if her husband wouldn't be in ICU there's a big possibility that he could have an attack and paralyze him for life..

i have been working in the hospital for more than a year now and i never had the courage to ask patients about their hospital bills. i really don't know why but i think i don't wanna intrude or im just too scared to know that many people are having bigger  problems than mine.. i really feel so bad when im reminded how blessed i am and yet i still complain.. so this Christmas season i want to celebrate my life. im doing it alone. this is going to be my very first christmas alone. at least last year, even though i was away from home, i was invited by a nice family to have Christmas with them.. but this year... im doing it alone.. i should be thankful for all my blessings.. actually this Christmas season i think we should all be thankful for the blessings we receive everyday and stop complaining about how miserable our lives are (though sometimes we really can't help it)

i really want to have a charity of my own.. i wanna help people.. there's just too many people who needs help.. especially when it comes to money.. hospital billls...

i miss my family and i wanna be with them.. i can't be home for christmas but i'll be home on the 26th! yipee!! i wonder where ill be next Christmas... :)